Moving Again
Three jobs before my current one, back in 03, I had to leave my job to finish a 4 year degree at a University (the one I work for now and have went to school at). On my way out a close coworker of mine said to me, “Now don’t you become a ghost around here.” I told him with strong intentions, “I don’t plan to.”
How many times did I go back and visit over the years? Less than 10, probably more around 7 or 8 though. Was this intentional? No. And I do miss those people a lot. But I guess I’m just moving on and with that comes new friends, new events, and missed opportunities to hang with those from the past.
Jump forward to now. I am going to be starting a new corporate job in about 2 weeks. When I passed along this news a couple months ago to my current boss he sent me a VERY nice email about how he will miss me and truly miss the skills I brought with me to this job.
He also said something that has still stuck with me, “I am not looking forward to the loss of the personal relationship I hope we have developed.” I replied back to his message and told him I have no intentions of dropping my personal relationship with anyone in the office. Which I firmly stand by.
But now I wonder, is it possible to not lose or at least have a diminished relationship with someone you work with and move away from? My boss and I are close, as is all my coworkers, but the only person I have hung out with outside of work is DOF. So I can’t help but think about and worry what will happen with my relationship with my boss and other coworkers.
It’s the only thing I regret about taking this job. But I know it’s important for my long term career and for my fiance (soon to be wife) and I. I need something with a little more permanence right now so I can build up some savings and get ready for other future things.
So I do look forward to what’s ahead, but I will miss the present.
Welcome to my blog! Topics tend to focus on Science and Technology, but I throw in personal stuff too. I hope you enjoy!
June 9th, 2008 at 2:13 am
Impermanence is one of the essential properties of existence, Webs. Relationships can be long-lasting but they do change, and necessarily so because their manifestation is embedded in time, place, and circumstance and those things change. Don’t confuse the manifestation with the thing itself.
We will miss you, and hope you will “stay in touch” but it is a mistake to try to preserve what is as time flows around it. Holding back a river distorts it out of all recognition. A lot of unhappiness comes from not recognizing and accepting change for what it is. When you do, you can move through transitions with less difficulty.
In the words of the eminent philosopher Sherman T Potter, “If you’re not where you are, you’re noplace.”
June 9th, 2008 at 9:01 am
So true, and thank you for those words DOF.
My Dad always told me the difference between really successful people and successful people is change and being able to embrace it. I’m still okay with change, but in the immediate short term it kinda sucks.